my roxygirl.

when i was a little girl i begged and cried for a puppy. i longed for a little dog to run around with me. but, my dad was adamant that we didn't have one. i just couldn't understand why?! [it's hard to explain how much of a huge responsibility and how much money a dog costs to a 7 year old.] i even went to the extreme and had a "brilliant" idea that i brought up to my mom...
"MOM! i have an idea! since you and i both want a dog, how about we get a second house that we live in just so we can have a dog? dad, janelle and clay and live in this one, still." haha oh little samantha. you're too funny. it made perfect sense in my 8 year old brain.

one day an old friend of my mom brought over two puppies she found abandoned in a park. one was fluffy and curly, the other had a white stripe down her chest and curly ears.
i fell in love with the second one.
i couldn't stop thinking about her.
i wanted her to be my puppy.
i cried and cried and cried until my dad broke down and said "fine. get the damn dog!"
my mom said "don't worry, samantha, this puppy and dad will end up being best friends, too." [which couldn't be more true.]

the next day when we were going to pick her up my dad said, "how about we name her penny?" obviously, over the night the thought of having a dog in the house wasn't too annoying to him anymore.

we didn't end up naming her penny. instead, we named her Roxy.
my roxygirl. rockycola, ra-co-co, rocco.

when she was home with us for the first time, i fully understood that it was my responsibility to make sure she didn't go potty in the house.
i watched her like a HAWK. didn't take my eyes off of her. by the end of the day i was exhausted and in tears. but, there were no accidents in the house! haha.

a few days after that, i took her for a little walk down the street in front of our house. after our walk, i sat down with her on the curb, and a girl on her bike came and complemented my cute puppy. i took my eyes off of roxy for one second to thank the girl and then she sped off. during these few seconds, roxy swallowed something and began to choke. tears filled my eyes and i ran inside for my mom to save her. i was terrified that my puppy was going to choke to death all because of me! luckily, my mom was able to get out whatever she swallowed and she was just fine. whew!

roxy was with me as i finished elementary school, went into the awkward years of middle school, my fun years of high school & when she was with me when i became a woman and got married. and the last time she saw me, i was pregnant with my first baby. she taught me responsibility, patience, love and happiness.

there's SO many more memories i could write down, but right now it's too hard to think of those times. my heart breaks that i couldn't be down in california as she took her last breath. i wish i could have been there to hold her and tell her how much i love her and that it's okay for her to let go.
she will always have a special place in my heart & i'll always remember my first dog.

i love you Roxygirl. i hope you're having a blast running like wild up in heaven.
xoxo

Roxy

May 29, 1998 - July 20, 2013